Through the looking glass: Who do you see in the mirror?
3 Minute Read: Eating disorder, recovery, healing.
It’s been years since I owned a scale. During that time, I’ve stepped on one maybe twice, during rare doctor’s visits.
Otherwise, no scales. No weighing.
For a long while now, I’ve chosen to eat and move in a way that feels good.
In body, mind, spirit. In the moment, in an hour, the next day.
I trust that – and I trust my body’s innate wisdom. I do not trust the scale.
Until recently – like really recently – I didn’t own a full-length mirror either.
Thing is though, I kind of like knowing what my clothes look like before leaving the house! So a few weeks back, I put one up.
Don’t fully trust it yet. We’re still getting to know each other.
Yet, I look in. Each time wondering what it will reflect back. What – and who – I’ll see there.
Ever read the poem “Wild Geese,” by Mary Oliver? It starts this way:
"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.”
I love that. And as I look shyly, hesitantly at the body in the mirror, I tell her we can trust it. I can trust her. It is true.
When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Please share in the comments, if you’d like.